You're not getting any!

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TC
Learner Driver
Posts: 1472
Joined: Jun 10th, '04, 21:21
First Name: Chris
Location: Plymouth

You're not getting any!

Post by TC »

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother
asks if he has done his chores. "Not yet," said the little boy. His mother
tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.

Well, he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.

"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any
eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a
week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren't getting
any milk."

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat half way
across the kitchen.

The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "Are you going
to tell him, or should I?"

:lol:
2022 Royal Enfield Interceptor 650 & 2026 Triumph Bonneville Speedmaster 1200
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Mark-Blade
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Posts: 696
Joined: Nov 20th, '04, 10:55
Location: Exeter

Post by Mark-Blade »

:lol: :lol: :lol:
[img]http://usera.imagecave.com/Mark-Blade/markbladesigcopy2.jpg[/img]
"Without wings, you can't fly"
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CvPiper
Learner Driver
Posts: 1362
Joined: Jan 30th, '05, 20:55
Location: Wellington, Somerset

Post by CvPiper »

:lol: PMSL :lol:
Total Triumph
Rides:
2014 Triumph Range ;)
07811110200
[url]http://www.totaltriumph.co.uk[/url]
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Jay
Learner Driver
Posts: 8015
Joined: Oct 22nd, '04, 05:46
First Name: Jay
Location: Fareham, Hampshire. Rides 2020 CBR1000RR-R
Contact:

Post by Jay »

LMFAO :lol: :lol: :lol:
2025 BMW S1000 XR TE
2011 BMW S1000RR Trackbike
07881349390
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speedy(delboy)
Learner Driver
Posts: 5020
Joined: Mar 2nd, '04, 23:02
Location: Barnstaple
Contact:

Post by speedy(delboy) »

Tell Him What :?: :?: :?:

:lol: :lol:
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LWR GERRY
Learner Driver
Posts: 1470
Joined: Sep 13th, '05, 16:02
First Name: Gerry
Location: Plymouth

Position available

Post by LWR GERRY »

Mother,Mom,Mama,mommy, Ma

Job Description.

Long term, team player needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.


RESPONSIBILITIES.

The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs ?10. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the back garden are NOT someone just crying wolf! Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repairs, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calenders and co-ordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks! Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly product safety testing of a million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION

Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE.

None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION

( Get this!) YOU pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock potions are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life....................if you play your cards right!

ANYONE!!
[img]http://i6.tinypic.com/11v09r4.png[/img]
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jim
Learner Driver
Posts: 1502
Joined: May 14th, '05, 07:55
Location: plymouth rides:gsxr 750

Post by jim »

:lol: :lol: :lol:
07974979311

[img]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b301/prkys3/jimsigcopycopysmall.jpg[/img]
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