pubs and marriage
Posted: Jan 3rd, '06, 08:00
An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were sitting in a bar.
"The view is fantastic, the beer excellent and the food exceptional,"
said the Scotsman, "but I still prefer the pubs back home. Why in
Glasgow, there's a little bar called McTavish's. The landlord there
goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy four drinks,
he'll buy the fifth drink for you."
"Well," said the Englishman, "at my local, the Red Lion, the barman
there will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."
"Ahhh, that's nothin'," said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin there's
Ryan's Bar. Now, the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a
drink, then another, all the drinks you'd like. Then, when you've had enough
drink, they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid - ALL on the
house!"
The Englishman and Scotsman immediately pour scorn on the Irishman's claims,
but he swears every word is true.
"Well," said the Englishman, "did this actually happen to you?"
"Not myself personally, no," said the Irishman, "but it did happen to
me sister."
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woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a pint of beer in front of him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of beer. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?".
The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 15?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do" she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?" "Yes, I remember" says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues... "Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to prison for 20 years?'" "I remember that too" she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says..."I would have gotten out today."
merv
"The view is fantastic, the beer excellent and the food exceptional,"
said the Scotsman, "but I still prefer the pubs back home. Why in
Glasgow, there's a little bar called McTavish's. The landlord there
goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy four drinks,
he'll buy the fifth drink for you."
"Well," said the Englishman, "at my local, the Red Lion, the barman
there will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."
"Ahhh, that's nothin'," said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin there's
Ryan's Bar. Now, the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a
drink, then another, all the drinks you'd like. Then, when you've had enough
drink, they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid - ALL on the
house!"
The Englishman and Scotsman immediately pour scorn on the Irishman's claims,
but he swears every word is true.
"Well," said the Englishman, "did this actually happen to you?"
"Not myself personally, no," said the Irishman, "but it did happen to
me sister."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a pint of beer in front of him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of beer. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?".
The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 15?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do" she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?" "Yes, I remember" says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues... "Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to prison for 20 years?'" "I remember that too" she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says..."I would have gotten out today."
merv
