South West Bikers | Motorcycle Forum

My vans in for an mot, so last night I had to use my bike which I haven’t touched since early autumn.

I get to the bottom of my drive and I need to stop and get off to close the gate. But I be buggered if I can find the side stand with the heel of my boot( pitch black and no street lights). So I get off with the engine running (and in neutral) and try to find it with my hand. “This must be it” me thinks and proceeded to push down the gear lever . The bike jumps forward, I pull in the clutch lever and the front brake but by this time I’m off the road and jammed between a fence and the bike. My only escape was to lie the bike down gently on to its R&G’s.

No damage, not even a scratch . But I did feel like a complete numbty .


Anyone else have a story for the dumb ass club?

Aaron is a member of the numb ass club, does that count?

Maybe you should book a CBT before Spring, learn how to ride a bike

Im forever doing brainless stuff like that, like the time I was about to leave work at 5am and spent 40mins in the pissing rain trying everything to get my bike started..then i remembered the killswitch.Or the time i went to raise both forks through the yokes while the bike was on its side stand.Or the time i rode away with the disclock still on and fell off the bike.Or the time i blew through the battery overflow tube.I could go on...

I think I have too many to list...

Great story though Jew!

Ah now that's made me chuckle today

Dumbest thing I've done on a bike was falling off through schwantz curve last year. As for silly little things none that I can easily recall

left home on lovely red & white R1, got about 500 yards up the road, stopped at the junction.

front wheel slipped out, bike slammed into the ground, threw me off, flatbed van/lorry thing went past and drove over the bike.


frame craacked in 3 places,
welds popped on frame bracing
front disc cracked,
forks bent,
faring broken,
harris rearsets bent,
levers snapped,
front wheel bent,
clipon bent,
lights broken.

Result - WRITTEN OFF BIKE AT 0 MPH

spent ages trying to start modern electric start bike, swear curse drag 30 year old RD250 out from under the sheet where it had stood for 2 months unused and unloved 2 kicks off it went, went and did whatever i had to do on that, came back looked at the honda changed plug, buggered about with it for an hour then remebered i has turned it on to reserve on the way home last time i used it , last year went into morrisons to top up the honda used the credit card auto pump, it was not running well all the way home,next morning was a pig too start, ran up the road looked at the exhaust it was smoking a bit, thought oh no knackered engine only 15000 miles too, then had a thought , opened up tank funny it smells of diesel in there, sure enough it ws on 50/50 diesel petrol DOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

quality Julian..........luck escape there mate

The most stupid thing I have done on my bike must have been when i went over to a friend house who has part garden grass driveway. When I opened the throttle the rear tyre instead of spinning just moved to one side and dropped the bike. I really thought the wheel would either get grip or spin not slide.

I looked a complete idiot but the soft wet grass did not do any damage to the bike.