>it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out
>on someone you don't know.
>
> I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten
>to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying
>"Hello." I Politely said, "This is David. Could I please speak with
>Robert Campbell ?"
>
> Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f*kin
>number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that
>anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robert's correct number
>to call him, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two
>digits.
>
> After hanging up with him, I decided to call the 'wrong'
> number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're
>a C*nt!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'C*nt'next
>to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was
>paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "
>
> You're a C*nt!" It always cheered me up.
>
> When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'C*nt'calling
>would have to stop. So, I called his number and said,"Hi,this is John
>Smith from BT . I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller
>ID Program?"
>
> He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back
>and said, "That's because you're a C*nt!"
>
> One day I was at Lakeside Shopping Centre, getting ready to pull into
>a parking spot. Some guy in a gunmetal grey Land Rover cut me off and
>pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and
>yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me.
>
> I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his
>number.
>
> A couple of days later, right after calling the first C*nt ( I had
>his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the Land
>Rover C*nt, too. I said, "Is this the man with the gunmetal grey Land
>Rover for sale?"
>
> Yes, it is", he said. "Can you tell me where I can see it?" I
>asked."Yes, I live at 129 Alice Street, in Ilford. It's a terraced
>house, and the car's parked right out in front."
>
> "What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Steve Hansen,"
> he said. "When's a good time to catch you, Steve?"
> "I'm home most days as I'm currently unemployed."
> "Listen, Steve, can I tell you something?"
> "Yes?"
> "Steve, you're a C*nt!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my
>speed dial, too.
>
> Now, when I had a problem, I had two arseholes to call.
> Then I came up with an idea. I called C*nt #1.
> Hello." "You're a C*nt!" (But I didn't hang up.)
>
> "Are you still there?" he asked.
> "Yeah," I said.
> "Stop calling me," he screamed.
> "Make me," I said.
> "Who are you?" he asked.
> "My name is Steve Hansen."
> "Yeah? Where do you live?"
> "I live at 129 Alice Street, Ilford, a terraced house, with my
>gunmetal grey Land Rover parked out the front."
>
> He said, "I'm coming over right now, Steve.
> And you had better start saying your prayers."
>
> I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, C*nt," and hung up.
> Then I called C*nt #2. "Hello?" he said.
>
> "Hello, C*nt," I said.
>
> He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
> "You'll do what?" I said.
> "I'll kick your arse," he exclaimed.
> I answered, "Well, C*nt, here's your chance. I'm coming over right
>now."
>
> Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived
>at 129 Alice Street, Ilford , and that I was on my way over there to
>kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 5 News about the hoodie war
>going down in Alice Street, Ilford .
>
> I quickly got into my car and headed over to Alice Street. I got
>there just in time to watch two C*nts beating the crap out of each
>other in front of six police cars, an overhead police helicopter and a
>News crew.
>
> NOW I feel much better.
>
> Anger management really works...
