Wife 1.0

[layne]

Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications.

He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation. Although other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.

Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all. Crashing the system when selected, even though they always worked fine before.

At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming wife 2.0.
• A "Don't remind me again" button
• Minimize button
• An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be installed with the option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of cache and other system resources.
• An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the systems hardware probe feature to be much more useful.

I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on top of Girlfriend 1.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug which I should have been aware of. Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now.

To make matters worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another thing that sucks is, all versions of Girlfriend continually popup little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0

***** BUG WARNING ********
Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

*** BUG WORK-A ROUNDS ***************
To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as LapDance 16.1.

Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. Such as Flowers 3.1 and Diamonds 2K.

[Mervin]

I also find that adding motorcycle 1.0 makes wife 1.0 gets a bit slow and temperamental, ad motorcycle 2.0 without deleting 1.0 and the problems get worse, the same goes with every motorcycle version i have added without deleting , the previous ones i now have motorcycle 3.0 and 4.0 full versions installed and 5.0,6.0 and 7.0 on the beta versions
all you need to all this too work well together is thick skin and cloth ears

[Funky]

I find that if you spend too much time using bike 1.0 or the later versions then girlfriend 1.0 makes a horrible whining sound

[layne]

I do that regularly and the more you overload the system the less you notice the whining noise.

I’ve been told eventually it goes away completely.

[TLS-Moose]

lets just hit Ctrl+P whilst I write you address on an envelope .........

[jam]

My ex girlfriends favourite wine.......................When are you gonna take me out?

[deej]

I do that regularly and the more you overload the system the less you notice the whining noise.

I’ve been told eventually it goes away completely.

Ai that it does and its bloody good too !!!