Some people are just dumb....

Funky · Post by **Funky** » Sep 22nd, '05, 21:31

Possibly the funniest story in a while. This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board.

This is a true story, Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure...

Dear Sir: I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor

planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed

my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the

bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope

at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to

ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 175 lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say,

I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at

an equally, impressive speed.

This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed

only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal

of pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight

of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side

of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several

lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks

and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move,

I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me.

This explains the two broken legs. I hope this answers your inquiry.

1blue · Post by **1blue** » Sep 22nd, '05, 21:35

My ribs hurt its so funny.

A_T · Post by **A_T** » Sep 23rd, '05, 07:45

CvPiper · Post by **CvPiper** » Sep 23rd, '05, 07:54

andrew · Post by **andrew** » Sep 23rd, '05, 09:17

its a very funny one

i don't think its from a real accident report tho as I have hear quite a few years ago being told by an irish comedian (i think it may even have been a song) - i do remember nearly pissing myself laughing when i heard it.

Jay · Post by **Jay** » Sep 23rd, '05, 10:58

jim · Post by **jim** » Sep 23rd, '05, 10:58

brigham · Post by **brigham** » Sep 23rd, '05, 15:57

An oldie, but still very funny and always makes me giggle

baskie · Post by **baskie** » Sep 24th, '05, 00:12

*cough* hate to spoil fun lol, but although a good story it's totaly untrue.

there is this program on discovery channel thast called, 'Mythbusters' anbd basicaly these 2 fellows take urban myths such as this story, and recreate each myth to see wether they could of actualy happened. first of all the recreate exact using all evidence to hand. if that fails, they then duplicate the test but the difference is they see what would need to be done for this effect to be acchived. and in the casae of this barrel jobby they not only had to remove all the metal rings around the barrlel. but they also had to saw basicaly half way through the bottom. lol. sorry. really good program. i lvoe it. all sorts of myths. like sugar in engines, potatos up exhausts.weeing on the 3rd rail. all sorts. really worth watching

matt