Navy Bonus

Chewie · Post by **Chewie** » Nov 11th, '05, 00:25

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for early retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officers got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a grizzly old Captain who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my penis to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he may want to reconsider, explaining about the nice checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Captain insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Captain to "drop em", which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Captain's penis and began to work back. "My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?" The Captain calmly replied..."In Vietnam."

devilride · Post by **devilride** » Nov 11th, '05, 00:33

he he!

jim · Post by **jim** » Nov 11th, '05, 06:53

CvPiper · Post by **CvPiper** » Nov 11th, '05, 07:58

A_T · Post by **A_T** » Nov 11th, '05, 15:24

lmao

Funky · Post by **Funky** » Nov 11th, '05, 15:32

ha ha, nice

orko · Post by **orko** » Nov 11th, '05, 16:12

lmao

Leroy · Post by **Leroy** » Nov 11th, '05, 18:42

lmao

brigham · Post by **brigham** » Nov 11th, '05, 21:49

An oldie, but still makes me laugh.

Only thing is though, I do not know of any Naval Officers ever having any bollocks.

Cheggers · Post by **Cheggers** » Nov 11th, '05, 21:53

brigham wrote: Only thing is though, I do not know of any Naval Officers ever having any bollocks.

PMSL... Spiines as well!!