As you are probably aware, a massive earthquake measuring 5.8 on the
Richter scale struck Liverpool in the early hours of Thursday morning, waking locals several hours before their Giros arrived. At the epicentre in Kensington, victims were seen roaming around more aimlessly than usual, shocked and confused.
Eye witness reports say that the cries of "Ar ay, carm down" and "Dey do do dat doh dont dey" were pitiful to hear. The quake decimated the
entire area, causing around 30 quid's worth of damage. Several priceless collections of ashtrays from Ibiza and Tenerife are beyond repair. Three historic areas of burnt out-cars, some seven years old, were disturbed.
Even days later, hundreds of people in the Birkenhead area are still confused, bewildered and unable to come to terms with the loss of William Hills.
One resident, Miss Tracy Smith, 15 year old mother of six, said "It was a terrible shock to my little Chardonnay Mercedes. She came into my room crying and put me and my Winston right off our stroke. Luckily, my youngest two, Tyler Morgan and Brooklyn Romeo Rainbow slept right through it all. I was still shaking whilst watching Kilroy the next day."
Initially, the amount of looting, mugging and car crime caused deep concerns for police, but fears of a long term reduction proved to be unfounded as shaken scallies regained their confidence and once more returned to the streets. The Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of lager into the area to help stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have managed to recover large amounts of personal belongings, including benefit books, Lizzy Duke jewellery, finest bone China from Mad Harry's, and countless copies of "Ferry Across The Mersey" by Gerry and the Pacemakers.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothes parcels for those caught in the disaster. Clothing is in short supply - Fila or Burberry baseball caps, Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers), 3/4 length Adidas trackie bottoms, white socks, Rockport boots and anything from the Donnay shop is desperately needed. Food parcels must take into consideration local tastes and should include Micro Meals, Noodles (both Super and Pot), Baked Beanz, Ginster's pasties and peanuts for the kiddies. Special Brew, Thunderbird and White Lightning would also be gratefully received.
* 22p buys a biro to help fill in a compo form
* £2.00 buys chips, curry and blue pop for a family of nine
* £5.00 buys 20 B&H and a box of Swan Vestas to calm the nerves of a
grieving 10 year old.
Please don't send tents for shelter, as the sight of posh accommodation
is unfair on the residents of Toxteth, Hale and Riverside. Thank you
for your help.
merv
appeal
Moderator: Staff
