MENS RULES!

Place you favourite jokes in here...

Moderator: Staff

User avatar
LWR GERRY
Learner Driver
Posts: 1470
Joined: Sep 13th, '05, 16:02
First Name: Gerry
Location: Plymouth

MENS RULES!

Post by LWR GERRY »

Men’s Rules (that women should know)

Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present . . . . again!

Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Don’t cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you’re stuck with her.

Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

We don’t remember dates. . . .Period!!

Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. We’ve been tricked before!!

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it’s genetic.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it’s Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn’t really matter what they’re saying anyway.)

BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, it’s like camping.
[img]http://i6.tinypic.com/11v09r4.png[/img]
User avatar
Dave
Site Admin
Posts: 1669
Joined: Feb 29th, '04, 17:11
Location: Exeter Rides:GSX-R600K3
Contact:

Post by Dave »

Very good :lol:
Leroy
Learner Driver
Posts: 2145
Joined: Nov 9th, '05, 09:25
Location: Exeter: K5 GSXR 600

Post by Leroy »

haha quality ;) :lol:
User avatar
rossi25
Learner Driver
Posts: 281
Joined: Feb 15th, '06, 22:28
Location: Exeter Rides: Piaggio NRG Power 2005

Post by rossi25 »

Well good! :lol:
Can you read my number plate Officer? Or is there too much tyre smoke in the way!
[url=http://www.putfile.com][img]http://x4.putfile.com/2/4910595956.jpg[/img][/url]
User avatar
Maver-Nick
Learner Driver
Posts: 4280
Joined: Oct 18th, '05, 19:48
First Name: Nick
Location: Exeter: K5 GSXR 1000

Post by Maver-Nick »

You talking about me there Gerry... :? :shock:

Is that good or bad :? ...I don't see a problem myself... 8) :lol:
Please help...
http://www.justgiving.com/NICK-VENN
Powerhouse Mixed Martial Arts
http://tinyurl.com/strikeforce-MMA
The Beatings Will Continue... Until Morale Improves
Gingey
Learner Driver
Posts: 1311
Joined: Jan 2nd, '06, 01:17
Location: Truro, Cornwall Rides: ZX6R
Contact:

Post by Gingey »

:lol: :lol: 8)
[img]http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c227/Gingeyuk666/SIG2.jpg[/img]
User avatar
TLS-Moose
Site Admin
Posts: 7149
Joined: Dec 14th, '05, 22:59
Location: The fringes of NA, sadly not the UK equivalent of LA!!

Post by TLS-Moose »

Proper Blokes rules ......

http://bofh.ntk.net/Bloke.html

8) :lol: :lol:
Of all the things I have ever lost, I miss my mind the most .....

Handle stressful situations like a dog - If you can't eat it or play with it, pee on it and walk away
sonic

Post by sonic »

Top Quality Info :lol:
sonic

Post by sonic »

TLS-Moose wrote:Proper Blokes rules ......

http://bofh.ntk.net/Bloke.html

8) :lol: :lol:
i loved it in new zealand - and that is so true... :D
Post Reply