tell us about your daftest crash.

allyxx · Post by **allyxx** » Jun 10th, '07, 23:47

Not exactly a crash but very embarassing to say the least.

Parked outside my local Tescos to dart in and pick up some photos of my newly aquired bike. As all bikers do I parked right outside the door on a patch surrounded by bollards. Tucked photos in jacket and started new bike. Please bear in mind it was my 2nd time out on the bike and proud to show it off to anyone willing to give it a second look

. Popped it in gear, positioned it to go through bollards and moved off. Being very careful I kinda walked it till I got going (well kindof) lifted leg and got nobble of peg caught in the top of my boot

"Hop, skip and it chugged forward" needless to say I went off sideways. Bike lying on floor screaming its t*ts off, I rolled and ended up looking directly into open doors of the shop. Never seen so many people down Tescos and everyone of them looking at me lying next to my sad screaming bike. I have never been so embarassed in all my life

speedy(delboy) · Post by **speedy(delboy)** » Jun 11th, '07, 01:20

Teaching a mate of mine how knee down (uummmm in the rain),

, 1st knee hit, then elbow, then hips and then the bike on top of me. My mate physically pissed himself larfing the twat.

My bro did a good one, pulled a wheelie and the front wheel slide out when it landed and he then landed on the bar-ends and it went right through his cheek into his gob

Funky · Post by **Funky** » Jun 11th, '07, 08:23

I came off on dartmoor when I had my CBR125, going around a long sweeping corner with way too much confidence I soon ran wide on it's skinny tyres and went along the verge before being tossed off. I remember rolling along the road with the bike following me thinking 'i'm rolling, there's my bike, I'm still rolling, I hope my bike doesn't hit me, when am i going to stop rolling?'

This was just past princetown, i phoned honda care (free AA) and they asked where I was, I said just past Princetown but I didn't know the road the woman then said 'can you see any landmarks?' so I had a quick scan and said 'I can see a telephone tower in the distance' so the woman replied 'ok i think you're on this road we'll send someone to drive up and down it until they see you'.

I then picked the bike up and proceeded to walk up the road with it and after about 1 mile i finally came to princetown I trundled into the plume of feathers inn and had a much deserved pint of John Smiths and rang Honda Care again to tell them where I was.

I later found out I had a broken thumb with the nurse wondering how i pushed my bike that far with it (adrenaline I guess). Needless to say it was also the best pint I ever had.

jason · Post by **jason** » Jun 11th, '07, 09:06

an MX one...

Lost the front braking into a corner, and ended up doing a face plant past the first set of roping and off the track - slammed my head down face first quite hard which in an open faced MX lid left me with a face full of dirt. ( A fairly normal nothing to write home about tumble had the story ended here.)

..regrouped my my senses for a few seconds then grabbed my bike and got back in the race. As I started riding I could feel a fair bit of warm blood running off my lips and chin so I am riding along licking it off my lips, swilling this mixture of blood and dirt around my mouth and spitting it out the best I can, obviously in the heat of the moment trying to recoup lost places I end up swallowing some of it.

It is only when I finish the race and take my lid off and notice very runny cowshit splattered all over the chinguard of my lid that the grim realisation comes that I wasnt actually bleeding at all. I wipe my mouth off with my hand and take a look and suddenly I feel slightly queasy..

Jak · Post by **Jak** » Jun 11th, '07, 10:39

ewwww I was just about to have a sandwich - think I'll leave it a while!!!!

My only off was very minor but hilarious to watch.

I was on my first bike (MB5

) ... set off down my parents' road in the middle of winter, freezing cold but the roads were clear. Well I thought they were. At the end of the road is a sharp bend into a steep hill (downwards). The black ice on the bend was a real surprise

falling off was even more of a shock

but as I was only doing about 10mph it wasn't serious. Then I tried to stand up. Fell over. Tried again. Fell over again. Slid myself over to the bike and used it to steady myself and stood up. Then I tried to pick the bike up. After a dozen attempts (all ending with me on my arse) I had to push the bike down the hill on its side, me on my arse still - until I found the end of the black ice and managed to pick myself and the bike up. Neighbour said it was like watching a cartoon LOL He said he would've helped but he was laughing too much

Funky · Post by **Funky** » Jun 11th, '07, 11:16

Your neighbour is a legend

clunk · Post by **clunk** » Jun 11th, '07, 11:39

A couple of events involving my old fizzy.

Parked facing uphill on the main stand, I'm sat on it "sidesaddle" chatting with some mates when it lost balance and I went over backwards landing on top of the bike.

Another time I rode off with the steering lock on. It was seperate to the ignition switch and you could still turn the bars through half it's arc even with it locked. I was in a back alley, behind a bike shop, so no pavement and I ended up failing to turn right to make a slight turn and bouncing along the wall before I toppled over.

I've also had the "trying to pick up a bike on ice" scenario, but mine was a Yam XJ550 so a little bit heavier.

Blimey · Post by **Blimey** » Jun 11th, '07, 19:14

Been riding my old Fazer all day with Mrs on back. Dropped her off at the school to collect kids while i went home and got the car as we were running late.

Sat at a busy junction on a hill, traffic stopped to let me out both sides and as i pulled away i gave it too much revs as i was used to having the extra weight on back. So i dropped the revs a bit and in turn stalled it and it just went straight over trapping my leg underneath. Managed to get up but couldn't pick up bike.

I was growing REDDER and REDDER

Once i did get bike up, it wouldn't start as it was flooded.

Bet the peeps in the car wish they hadn't offered to let me out now as i was causing a mega traffic jam

Tom · Post by **Tom** » Jun 11th, '07, 19:24

Jason I can agree with you on that, cow shit and MX, goes everywhere!

And the side saddle one, done that with my mums moped, sat with the bike against me at a petrol station (FULL!) and then the bike just went, I stumbled, so embaressing!

r1dave · Post by **r1dave** » Jun 11th, '07, 23:11

Trying to jump start my R1 running down the road went to cop leg over but did'nt quite make it

leg caught the side of the bike lost balance all ended in

picked it as quick as i could, quick look around make sure no one was looking, and put the bike back in the garage and got charger out

Billi · Post by **Billi** » Jun 12th, '07, 17:24

december 1st..raining..damp roads...traffic lights..slowed down as they changed to red, got distracted by a male jogger (I am female) in very tight white shorts run across between me and the car in front, turned to look at the back view....and slammed into said car...leaving the bike in dramatic fashion, fractured skull for my efforts..theres a moral here somewhere girls..

jimbo#9 · Post by **jimbo#9** » Jun 12th, '07, 17:35

sorry i have a habit of doing that.. lol.. :twisted:

jimbo#9 · Post by **jimbo#9** » Jun 12th, '07, 17:50

right,,
i shouldent say any of this really but looking back it is well funny but sick..
i nearly hit a landrover once head on ,with a trailer a foot wider than l/rover, in the country lanes.
went into the hedge along side it and closed my eyes and some how managed to come out on the road upright alive.

the story before is what makes it funny,,

drove my mate to torrie to get some viagra as he was meeting some bird in exeter,
he then wanted a lift to the train station. when leaving torrie i kinda felt this jabbing on my arse cheek, knowing he had dropped said viagra..
i was flying trying to get there in a f in hurry.. didnt like the thought of that one... no wonder i nearly killed us both...
doh.
not a crash story but a [Censored] near miss..

tafflade · Post by **tafflade** » Jun 12th, '07, 20:21

xbandit wrote:right,,
not a crash story but a [Censored] near miss..

not a good mental image

jimbo#9 · Post by **jimbo#9** » Jun 12th, '07, 20:43

sorry i thought id better not...
try not to think about it mate...
i kept it quite for ages but when ever i tell mates who know my annonamous friend they [Censored] piss there selfs...
scary though i didnt think i was going to get passed the landrover.. proper hedge skimming.. even funnyer my mate didnt even relise what had happened..